It's been a long time since I wrote, once again. This seems to be a pattern for me. Write a few posts....wait a billion years before writing another. Well now I certainly have something to write about. 3 months ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Eleanor Jane. More commonly known as Ellie.
Around this time last year I got the distinct feeling something was up. To make a long story short, we had been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years. A long journey filled with heartaches upon heartaches We had 3 miscarriages during those 2 years, never getting past 8-9 weeks. We never saw a heart beating on the ultrasounds. I would cry every time I found out someone else was pregnant (which seemed to be happening all the time!). God was teaching me so much during that time. To rely only on Him for joy and contentment and to trust in His timing. We prayed and prayed that God would bless us with a child, and many others were praying likewise. I had been to a fertility specialist who saw nothing wrong with me. Around the end of October I thought I was pregnant again and was trying not to get my hopes up. When I started to throw up every morning, I thought that was a good sign (that hadn't happened before). I had an ultra sound done on 11/9 and saw that beautiful strong heart beat I had been waiting for. I remember crying and thinking how much I had prayed and asked for this but I felt Jesus, I don't deserve this. God is so gracious!
Well, I had a very fun and healthy pregnancy No serious issues, other than the morning sickness (bleh). We found out in January we were expecting a girl! I had a feeling all along, even though I always pictured having a boy first. Baby was very very active and liked moving around. I first started feeling her move at work, when there was lots of music playing and kids talking =) It was a joy when her daddy first felt her move too. My due date was 6/26 (our 6 year anniversary was the 25th ;)). I thought all along that she would be early. All the ultrasounds showed her being a week to 2 week ahead. Well, that day came and went and I was still waiting!
On Monday July 2nd we picked up my mother in law at the airport. That afternoon/early evening I started to have contractions. I had been having braxton hicks contractions (not painful ones) but this felt different. Everyone said you will know when you are having contractions and I DID! I layed around a lot, and we downloaded a contraction app to start tracking. I didn't sleep much that night, kept timing contractions and called the hospital. They told me "first babies take a while!". They told me to get in the shower for 1 hour (!!!) and try to relax, drink a lot of water and see if they continue. That was the longest shower of my life. The contractions did slow down but did not stop. The next day (Tuesday) we had a long day of contraction timing, and laying around. I think we called the hospital again and they said to wait. That night contractions were getting worse. I couldn't eat and I started throwing up (yuck). I couldn't even hold down water and gatoraide Finally around 3 am my water broke and I thought now is a good time to go to the hospital! We called and they were like "Well, what do you want to do?" and I'm like "I am ready to come in!!". We got there around 4ish I think? I got all settled in and was making good progress. The asked if I wanted pain relief and I thought I was doing pretty good but was scared it was going to get worse so I answered yes please! The epidural took a while to show up and when it did it look them multiple tries to get it in =(. Scary! That kicked in and we were smooth sailing. They said oh baby should be here around noon. I thought oh great! She'll be here soon, then I can eat. Ha ha. Around noon-1 I was fully dilated/effaced and ready to start pushing. I started pushing and nothing was happening! They proceeded to turn down the epidural and give me pitocion so i could feel more of the urge to push. A few hours later (yes, hours!!) and not much progress, they kept re-evaluating. Did I have energy left or was this going to be a c-section? Normal labors don't go this long in the pushing stage. This happened a few times, that they asked me this. I kept thinking, I give up! Just cut me open! But I felt I had the energy and it would be crazy to get this far and not push her out. Plus the recovery would be longer and worse. Around 6 the doctors switched sifts and this doctor was ready to finish the job! They decided to vacuum suck out my baby (ouch), I screamed like crazy (the only time I screamed during labor) and then it was over and she was out at 6:30 pm on the the 4th of July! At that point SO many people were in the delivery room, all cheering me on. I had no idea what was going on. Her cord was around her neck when she came out so I didn't get to see her right away, like i had imagined it would be. Jonathan went to check her out and took a picture to show me. She had a little bit of a hard time getting breathing because of the cord and merconium (babies first poop happened while still in the womb) in her lungs. But then I heard her cute little cry. Yeah!! She was 8 pounds, 10 ounces and 21 inches long. As Ellie is getting cleaned up and checked on, the doctor was trying to fix me up. Yes, I had 3rd degree tearing, whatever that means. It was so bad, I had to go to an operating room to get fixed up. Meanwhile I did not get to see or hold my baby!! =( Daddy and her grandparents got to hang out with her. When they brought me to my baby (finally), they were like, are you ready to try and feed her?? I barley looked at her and they stuck her on me to eat. She latched right away which was pretty neat. I wanted to see all of her, which was hard because she was all nicely bundled up. I was surprised how cute she was. That sounds strange but some newborns aren't that awesome looking, let's be honest. I didn't really get that instant lovey feeling some moms talk about. I was more in shock...like this is what's been growing in me for 9 months?? After I fed her, I got my long awaited dinner. There were fireworks going on outside the window that night. A little celebration! You would think the story ends here, but oh no. More drama to follow.
The next day when I tried to get up to walk around I lost my balance and almost fell over. I told the nurse my right leg felt numb still from the knee down. I thought this was from the epidural still wearing off. The asked me why didn't I say anything? Well, I didn't know this wasn't normal. They had multiple people look at it. They seemed to think that I had nerve damage in my leg from the prolonged pushing stage. I was experiencing "foot drop" which meant that I could press down my toes but couldn't lift them up. Very scary. I had to get a nurse anytime I wanted to get up. Also to rule anything else out, I got an MRI which showed I had a herniated disk. This could have been pre-existing they said. They suggested I take a walker and a foot brace home to help me get around. We had to wait for both items to show up before we could go home. The brace finally showed up around 9:30, hence our 10 pm discharge. We had to rush out of there and pack everything up. AH! Again, not the homecoming I thought it would be. The next day I had to go back to the hospital because my foot swelled up. They said if there was any change to call advice. Advice said go to the emergency room. So back to the hospital we went. Everything was fine though. They just checked for blood clots in my leg.
Through much prayer and just time, everything seemed to heal perfectly. I had to have a nerve test done which showed the the damage was not permanent and was getting much better, Praise the Lord. And now Ellie is healthy and growing and discovering new things everyday! She was so worth the wait. Stay tuned for more blogs, probably about babies and being a mommy because that's what my life is now. =)
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